New diseases in Malaysia

KY


As if we don't have enough to worry about with the outbreaks of the Bird flu, the Malaysian Ministry of Health

is now asking the public to be on the lookout for symptoms of the following new contagious diseases.

DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WITH THESE CONTAGIOUS DISEASES?

ASSMA
Severe rashes around the mouth caused by kissing too many ass es.
The number-one disease in Malaysia amongst civil servants.

DIALARRHOEA
Uncontrollable urge to continually dial friends on mobile phone to share with them such important information as "I'm now on the monorail", or "I'm walking towards the car."
Victims can be recognized by large, twitching thumb.

MEESLES
Blotchy skin condition caused by eating too many packets of instant noodles.

MULTIPLE SPOUSOSIS
Affliction whereby victims make frequent trips to Vietnam , Thailand , Indonesia , and China to take on additional brides. Middle-aged men are at significant risk.

YELLOW FEVER
Compulsion to date Asian females. Very common affliction amongst foreign celebrities and caucasian expatriates working in Malaysia . Also known as Pinkerton's Disease.

EKOR-TOTONUS
Flushed complexion, high blood pressure and sometimes depression at finding out one has not won any gaming numbers, lotteries and desparate looking for work.

HEAVYTITIS
Excessively large breasts. This disease comes in several variant strains ...
Heavytitis A; Heavytitis B; Heavytitis C, and sometimes Heavytitis DD.

CYBERTENSION
Feelings of stress and panic caused by lack of internet access.

DYEBETES
A compulsive need to colour one's hair. Reddish brown tints are the most common symptom, but health authorities have reported a new strain of blond highlights.

CHICKEN TOX
Victims exhibit a great need to talk cock. Incurable and highly contagious.
Spread by ordinary conversation, and may be exacerbated by good food and alcohol.

Politicians and lawyers are especially susceptible. Incurable

just joke for the day (KY)